Please Don't Tell Her
by love-r-of-Jam
Summary: Instead of Lorelai going to see Christopher, Luke goes to see someone and tries to hide it from Lorelai
1. Please Don't Tell Her

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Luke woke up and groaned. His head killed him and he couldn't even remember where he was? He smelt the faintest hint of perfume and turned and snuggled into the women lying next to him. He hoped and prayed that it was Lorelai and the pounding headache was a result from their making up.

But he opened his eyes and saw black hair, and it was somewhat curly. The hope began to grow, and he saw a flash of blue and he almost smiled but then the voice dashed it all. 'So your awake?' the raspy voice did not belong to his fiancée, and the dread he awoke with, grew.

'You want some breakfast?' the voice asked and he grunted. In reaction to the very idea of food when he felt like his stomach was coated in acid and his head pounded like a gong in his head.

'Nah.' He got out and rubbed his head, hoping to ease the ache, and suddenly he saw Lorelai's heart broken expression that seemed to always hang in the air as of late.

'I have to go open the diner, I'll call you later.' He said and he saw the hurt look in her eyes. One act, and he had hurt two women in his lives. Maybe more. 'I will come over tonight? And we can talk?' He said and she smiled, and her hurt expression was gone from her face. 'Sounds good.' She leans in and kisses him and he smiles awkwardly. 'So uh, tonight?' he asked and she nodded. 'Tonight.' He left and thought about how he was supposed to explain this to Lorelai.

'Shit' he said as he started his truck. Could he just tell his fiancée, the women he has loved for nine years. What the hell was he going to do?


	2. A Kind of Hope

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Luke drove up quietly and parked behind the diner. He would just make Lorelai think he slept at the Diner, and she wouldn't be the wiser. The whole town wouldn't know. It would be his little secret. But then he realized it was almost six in the morning, and of course people would notice, his clunky green truck driving down Main Street. Taylor would notice, Miss Patty would notice, and they would all tell Lorelai.

He had made the biggest mistake of his life, but after the last few months, he felt he deserved it. He had been the dependent, ever patient Luke Danes, and now he had blown his whole life, with one stupid action.

After he watched Lorelai walk away from him, he felt the need to drink something. Of course it was after nine o clock on a Friday, so no alcohol could be bought within thirty miles of Stars Hallow, and he figured, he might as well talk to Anna while driving out of his way to buy some beer.

He had stopped by, and she looked at him in that way, she used to. Like she got him in one quick glance. It never lasted, but it worked for him in that moment, and a beer turned into a few, and few turned into stuff that was harder. A few shots, turned into a blur of everything, and the next thing he knew he woke up in bed with his ex.

And he thought back to when he was so angry. When Lorelai had been a friend to Christopher, and it had seemed so horrible at the time. Like she betrayed him, and now sitting behind the wheel of his truck, with the smell of sex and alcohol on him, he felt the dirtiest he had in all of his life.

In that moment, he truly got what she had feared. That if the other found out, that was it. All this time and effort and small moments, and huge declarations, were all for nothing. Because they had messed up. Not even they, he had. He was the loser in this scenario.

The door squeaked as he opened it, thankful that he had decided the day before to have a slow day and not open until the afternoon. The stairs creaked underneath his boot covered feet, and with each squeak, his head throbbed, and his heart broke. He reminded himself of a philandering husband. What Lorelai probably would have had to deal with, if she had followed her parent's plan?

For the first time, he regretted that he lived surrounded by memories of his father. Because if his father was alive, he would given him that look, that made every inch of pride falter, and make him feel like he was one inch tall. He had tainted everything he worked so hard for, and he was a disappointment.

Hell even his usually screwy sister, managed to find some piece of normalcy. And so had he. No longer was he the loner of Stars Hallow. But a man who was out most weekends, whether he liked it or not. But now, when Lorelai found out about what he was really up to, he would be a loner, and worst off, he would be the man that broke that Gilmore girl.

He opened the frosted glass door, and he was surprised to find Lorelai sitting there on the couch, her face lined with running mascara and worry, and the guilt he felt as he climbed those stairs, tripled in an instant. 'Luke?' Lorelai asked.

He stepped closer and she was up in an instant. She threw herself in Luke's arms, and he felt her deathtrap grip on him and he tried not to wince at the sudden light in the apartment. And all he could think was, that he had made the biggest mistake of his life, and now he had to tell her.

'Where have you been?' Lorelai asked and he stopped, and tried to figure out what he was going to say. Every excuse escaped him in that moment. All he could think of was that she deserved to know the truth.

'Nowhere, where did you go Lorelai' he said instead and she looked at him. 'I went home and tried to figure out why you won't marry me.' She said and he sighed. He could have said something about waiting nine years for her, but at that moment, he got a one second memory of Anna and his body flush together and he blushed and mumbled something about not the right time.

Lorelai frowned, and he tried to act like there was nothing wrong. 'Luke, where were you last night?'


	3. Melt Your Heart

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Author's Note: ok.. what I am about to say is something I thought I would never say before… I am not sure if this will be a happily ever after kind of story. I want it to be, but after re-watching the finale, for the thousandth time, I can't see how they can fix this, so how can I fix my scenario? I will try. Don't you worry!

Luke paled at Lorelai question and he felt his whole face grow red from guilt. 'I slept at the Diner.' He stumbled and Lorelai looked startled and then he clearly saw that she knew that wasn't the truth. 'Ehhh wrong answer Luke, I went there myself to check, so where were you?' Lorelei spits and Luke looks startled and then tries to scramble to find a reasonable excuse. He couldn't very well tell his fiancée that he had sex with his ex.

He figured that Lorelai would never approach Anna, and so he shrugged. 'I slept over at Anna's, I was upset and I wanted to spend time with my daughter, and I fell asleep on the couch.' He said and tried to make his face seem like he was telling the truth.

Lorelai looked pained for a second and then she swallowed hard and tried not to cry. She could tell he wasn't telling her the complete truth. She wasn't a sap, nor was she naïve. She knew when he was lying, because he rarely did it, and so if he was lying, it must be something horrible.

'Luke, please just tell me. Whatever it is, just could you tell me, so I don't go crazy.' Lorelai muttered and Luke saw how upset she was already. 'I'm sorry Lor.' Luke whispered and she winced.

'Your sorry that you slept with Anna? Is that what your telling me?' Each word Lorelei spoke, she took a step back. Luke tried to compensate by stepping forward but she put her hand up to stop him. 'Don't step any closer unless you can tell me honestly that you didn't sleep with Anna.' She whispered, tears starting to fall down her cheeks.

'I didn't mean for it to get so far.' Luke tried to explain and Lorelai gave an embittered laugh, much darker than Luke ever thought she could give. 'How far did you mean for it to go then Luke? Huh? Maybe a kiss, or what? Cause I would really love to know.' She said and he looked guiltier.

'I didn't mean for it to happen. It was only supposed to be a drink. I wanted her to explain to me why my fiancée had suddenly wanted to marry me.' He said and then instantly regretted it.

'No, you don't get to say that. You get to leave my house and never come back again. I'll make sure you get your stuff, cause buddy you will be needing it.' Lorelei yelled and physically pushed him against a wall, and stormed upstairs, leaving a guilty and devastated Luke in her wake.

On Luke's part, he couldn't even fathom what just happened. One minute he had a concerned fiancée, and now he has an ex, who was angry and bitter. In an instant he had lost everything. He didn't understand how things could have gotten so screwy, so fast. He should have known better than to think that Lorelai was ok. Nothing was, as it seemed right?

He heard the shower turn on, and his whole body ached to go see her one last time, but that would be a tad stalkerish and completely off limits.

He didn't know how long he sat in the living room and he heard Lorelai's soft footing coming down the stairs and he stood up. 'What are you doing here.'? She said in a tone he had never heard. Not even when they didn't speak for almost three months. 'I don't know if I can leave.' Luke said, his tone full of self-loathing.

'Well that's the thing, cheaters don't get to choose. Cheaters get attacked by Joey Greco, but they don't get to choose whether you want to leave my house!' Lorelai yelled and at that moment, both of them looked at each other's eyes.

Lorelai didn't recognize the man standing in front of her. The Luke she knew would never cheat. The Luke she thought she knew had first hand experience with what cheating did? 'You didn't learn did you? From your sock man?' She whispered and then opened the door.

'I'm going to Rory's and when I come back, I better not find a trace of you here, or I swear to god, Johnny law wished they could find you.' Lorelei spit and grabbed her keys and wallet and stormed out of the house, leaving one devastated Diner owner.

Official Soundtrack for this story…

I always name new updates after the song, that really got to me while writing.. so here it is. I recommend each of these songs. So here I go…

Chapter 1: Please don't tell her by Jason Mraz.

Chapter 2: A kind of Hope by Pilate (very Canadian and very awesome!)

Chapter 3: Melt your heart by Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins. (she is of Rilo Kiley's fame. You've heard her trust me.)

I am updating Am I Missing probably tonight, or Were not going to take this.

Alrighty guys, have a good night!


	4. The Rest of My Life

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Author's Note: sorry about the lack of updates. Blame my best friend Eve. She told me she was coming home for the only visit until August. Damn pratt for being in Brooklyn, anyhoo she distracted me, and so now that she is gone, I can update. I have no clue where to go after this chapter, but I guess it will figure itself..right? if anyone has some suggestions, feel free to give them. Have a good one. RnR

Luke didn't even flinch when the door slam and thought back to when he had thought that lying would be better. Of course Lorelai knew that he was lying. Who was he kidding, Luke Danes never lied. He didn't cheat; he wasn't the sort to betray. Maybe it was in his blood, but he never felt the need to hurt anyone. And he tried his hardest to make sure that record kept.

And now he was the one who ruined things with Lorelai. He couldn't put the blame on anyone but himself. It wasn't the manipulations of Emily Gilmore that made things turn to shit, and it wasn't the irresponsible actions of his nephew. It was 100 on his shoulders, and Luke Danes felt like he had aged thirty years.

Would he, in thirty years think back to this moment, as the moment his life truly ended. He wished he could take it back, that he had simply chased after Lorelai when she gave him the ultimatum. Who was he kidding; he would never get the chance at such an offer again.

Even in the briefest amounts of time, he had wondered if he was maybe making a mistake. Could he and Anna make things work? For April at least. And then sanity returned a few seconds later. He had seen first hand that being together for the children never worked. Look at Lorelai, she had refused to be with Chris just for the sake of their daughter, and she had been right.

Would Lorelai now run to Christopher? He couldn't even blame her. She was the one who had not betrayed anyone. She was the one who had supported him when really she had no reason to. He hadn't even told her about his daughter, she stumbled upon it by accident, and he never even apologized for it.

He went to go put stuff in a bag when he heard the door slam. He held his breath. Could Lorelai have somehow forgiven him? Or was she just making sure he was leaving. He heard footsteps going up the stairs, and a bizarre thought came to him? Would that be the last time he would hear the squeaks of the stairs?

The door was pushed open, and the younger Gilmore stood there in the door, arms crossed, and eyes full of betrayal and he winced inside. Hurting Lorelai was one thing, but hurting the young girl, was something he thought he would never be able to do.

She looked extremely angry and she just stood there, quiet yet deadly. He had once heard that a women scorned was one thing, but nothing was scarier than a best friend scorned. He even felt a little intimidated by this small slip of a girl. Her eyes were the coldest he had ever seen and he closed his eyes to protect himself. Never in his entire life, had he felt such hate coming from one person. He felt like he had murdered a bus full of orphaned children with horrible diseases by the one glance she gave him.

'Rory!' He said in surprise and she just continued to stare him down. 'I know what you are going to say, and I am really truly sorry.' He tried to say but she continued to look at him. Now the disgust was beginning to appear on her face. 'She did everything right, she talked to you, really talked to you, she trusted you and she was all in for the first time since my father screwed her around the first time, and what do you do? Have some cheap affair, that you can't even pretend to be remorseful for?' Rory said in an even tone, but her body language was singing like a canary.

'I know I made a mistake.' Luke said trying to make things better, but he just didn't realize what he had done yet. 'A mistake? Luke, you've ruined the family I had been hoping for, for years. Do you get that? I doubt my mother will ever try to find the complete package again, thanks to you. You've ruined her, crushed her. I thought my dad was dangerous, but you, your hazard waste.'

As the nasty words hit him, Luke suddenly felt very tired. 'I'm sorry Rory, one mistake and it all goes away, doesn't it?' Luke says and for the first time Rory softens for one second. 'Yeah, but if it was reversed would you forgive mom?' Rory asked and went to help Luke pack.

This man had been very important to her at one time in her life, and his actions caused that to ruin, but still, she wanted one last nice memory of the man who had been actually there for her.

'If it was some random guy she met at a bar, I don't think so. But if it was Christopher, I could almost understand that. I don't know if I could truly forgive her thought. Which is why I have accepted my fate.' Luke said with a finality in his voice.

The two were silent and finally Luke had gathered his meager amount of clothes and little items that he wanted to keep. 'I'm sorry Rory, for hurting you.' Luke said and they both stood face to face, with little distance to disguise the hurt that Luke had caused.

'Maybe you shouldn't be apologizing to me. But you are going to have a lot of time to rethink things.' With that, Rory was out of the door, with as much surprise as her presence in the doorway.

Luke sat on the bed, with one bag containing the evidence of his relationship with Lorelai, and for the first time he realized how truly pathetic he was.


	5. Beautiful Goodbye

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Author's Note: see look how good I am being. Updating faster and faster. Bad news is that I am going to be in London England for three weeks, and I can't guarantee how much I can update. I am taking good ole blinky Oberon (my power book) and I will write as much as I can, but my mother is an Internet hog, so who knows. And I hope you guys like it, since I had to majorly depress myself by listening to the most depressing song to let me write it. RnR

Lorelei Gilmore had never really thought about where her life was going that much. She knew of a general direction she would like to be in, but other than that, she tried not to have long intense self-examining thoughts. But now she had to.

She had thought when Luke began to distance himself, that maybe he was just being very considerate, and give her time with her daughter. Let them go to Atlantic City, let her sleep over at Yale and have long movie fests and shopping trips. But then time went by, and things went back to normal for the mother-daughter combo, but not Luke.

He then started sleeping at the apartment for more than the early delivery days. At first Lorelai thought it was all in her head. Her body was just trying to fool her into thinking that she had a reason to run. So she ignored that itching inside her, saying something wasn't right.

And then she had walked into the diner, just like she had done a million times before, and there she was. A smaller, female version of Luke, and he had never really apologized about keeping it a secret, and once that happened, she was stuck in a prison of self-doubts and never truly believing what he said.

He never lied, but there was always an air of something that made her not trust him completely, and then when she had come to the point of no return, she knew that she had managed to end the greatest relationship she ever had. It didn't matter that everything wasn't coffee and roses; she just knew that Luke was the man for her, flaws and everything. And then it happened.

The ever predictable, comet crashing to earth moment, and she looked at her fiancée as he lied about where he was the night before, and something in her died. She should have seen this coming. She knew that nothing was ever easy for a Gilmore. She just didn't understand it. She knew that she was pretty. She had everything, brains, humor and she was one hell of a kisser.

But somehow everything came down to her not being 'the one' for any of the guys she was with. And if she was the one, the men weren't certainly her one. And the way Luke had looked at her when he saw that he didn't know how it happened, something in her started to scream.

Luke was supposed to be her lobster, her soul mate, he was supposed to be there until there was nothing left. She saw it all disappear, and all she wanted to do was scream and rip his head off or just fade. She didn't know what to do, she was shaking and all she wanted to do was escape. How could he do that? If she closed her eyes, she could almost picture it. And what hurt the most was that he had gone to Anna. The woman who hid his child. Who really only gave him a role in her daughter's life, because April had taken away that control.

Sure Lorelai had felt pain in her life. The pain of disappointing her family, and the pain of being laughed at, mocked and pitied. That poor pregnant teen they had said. She had felt the pain of childbirth and the pain of loneliness. And she felt the pain of coming to the realization that she had to walk away from her parents for her sanity and for her Childs.

She felt the dull ache with every step her daughter took, knowing it would eventually lead to her daughter growing up and walking away from her, just like she had done. She had felt pain at Christopher's actions, at each set back and she had felt pain when she had to hurt Max to make sure they weren't making a huge mistake.

But never in her life, had she felt this kind of pain. The pain of betrayal and loss and love at the same time. She still loved him and she hated herself for it. She could rationalize it; deny that it was there. She could do the approach her family had done for years. If it wasn't right in front of her face, it didn't exist. But every time she even attempted to do that, his face, his goddamn guilty face came into view, and she felt nauseous once more.

Even in the shower, she knew he was there. She hoped it killed him to know that he could never touch her again. She would never let him in her life. She would never let him speak to her, or laugh with her. He would never see a patented Gilmore Girl smile, and the family he had been wishing for, waiting for, was gone forever. And it was his entire fault.

She looked down at her keychain of the week, and there it was. A picture she made him buy when they had visited a carnival when things weren't so complicated. There were identical happy smiles from the couple. You couldn't even tell that mere months later, things would be obliterated.

She glared at the picture, and felt like it was mocking her. 'Damn you.' She muttered and then threw it across the room in her daughter's apartment. 'I hate you Luke Danes. I hate you.' She screamed to the silence of the apartment, and most importantly, to her breaking heart.

p.s the title of the chapter is not alluding to the future of this. It fits somehow, and thanks to all the reviews. You all said what I wanted to do anyways, and so here it is for you!


	6. Emotional until the crickets guide you

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Luke hung up the phone after trying too explaining his actions to Anna. Not only had he managed to ruin things with Lorelai, anger Rory, he had managed hurt Anna in the process. He had tried to explain that it wasn't intentional, and that he never meant for it to happen.

Luke was in a different place; he had never messed up so much as right now. He didn't know where to go, and he had no one left. He was sure that Liz would finally get her time to say the words he had said a million times to her before. 'I told you so.'

He had a few scattered friends he had met through his life, and he stayed in touch with some, but Lorelai had been his life for so long, even before she knew about his feelings. Luke had trapped himself, with no way to claw himself out. The only person he could think to call was his nephew. But he felt bad about dragging Jess back into this world.

Jess had managed to set everything right again, making himself into the man Luke had known he would be. And it was definitely not fair to ruin all of that, by forcing the very demons in his past, in his face once more.

Luke sat on his bed and really thought about the last happy moment he truly had. A pure moment, full of the promise of tomorrow, and no regrets, no concessions, Just pure unadulterated joy to be there at that moment. He had a lot of regrets, and a lot of lost time.

But he knew that it was the first time he kissed Lorelai. He didn't know how she felt; he just needed to kiss her. He had many torturous dreams of doing just that, and here he got to do it for real, and he felt like some stupid kid at that moment.

And before he knew it she was kissing him, and then of course a naked Kirk had to ruin it, and they got pretty close, but never did they have that kind of moment again. It was always missing something. Not that any moment with Lorelai was usually full of craziness and love. Well it used to be filled with that, and now it was nothing. Thanks to him.

So he did another cowardly act and he picked up the phone and dialed his nephew's New Philadelphia number. 'Hey Jess, it's Luke.'

Meanwhile Lorelai sat on her daughters couch and tried to laugh as the three stooges fooled around. Normally she would be laughing so much tears would fall down her face, but now, after the events in the last twenty four hours, not even the stooges could make her laugh. Her face hurt from the fake smiling she had done since her daughter came back after talking to Luke.

She had acted like she was hurt but not quite as devastated as she was at that moment. Her heart was truly breaking, and she had no one to blame but herself, and of course the cheater in this. Luke. She found herself hating herself, for worrying if he was ok. Luke wasn't a cheater; he wasn't the type of person to betray someone he loves, so it made her worry that if he in fact ever loved her. Could it all be in her head? The whole thing, a magnificent ruse to convince her that she wasn't so alone in the world?

But that couldn't be, Luke and her had perfect moments, brief but perfect moments in time, and no one can fake that. It was just impossible. Wasn't it? Maybe it was all just there in the moment, and she never was supposed to keep hold onto it.

Lorelai sighed and looked out of the window and wished that things could go back to normal. But that was something Lorelei didn't even remember anymore. Was her normal, alone watching other people find that thing she had yearned for?

She looked down at her finger, the one adorned with a beautiful ring that once meant the world to her. She considered taking it off, but then that would mean that it had happened. She had once again lost it, so close to it actually happening for her.

Lorelai sighed and looked down at the ring again, and she glared. 'Stop mocking me.' She whispered.

Luke grunted when the phone rang at three in the morning. He almost didn't answer it. 'Lo?' Luke muttered, his mind fuzzy with sleep. It didn't last that long however, he hardly said anything as the person spoke to him. When he hung up, his feelings this morning, was nothing until now. He picked up the phone and sighed. Hoping that he could get through.

'I need you to help me.' He said desperately. 'I know, please? It's April.'

Author's Note:

Hey guys, all your support is awesome. I will try to update quite a bit before I leave for England next Wednesday.. here is the new playlist.

Chapter 4: Rest of my Life by Rilo Kiley (one of the best bands out there right now.)

Chapter 5: Beautiful Goodbye by Amanda Marshall. Amazing Canadian singer.

Chapter 6: Emotional (until the crickets guide you back) Rilo kiley.. are you even shocked?

Hope you guys like this. I finally figured out what I want to happen. Yay me. I had to sit and watch the whole fifth season. The first few episodes were amazing weren't they?


	7. Trouble

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

**Trouble**

Luke Danes has always hated hospitals. He knew that most people stepped inside the white sickly walls, never to step out again. It happened to his father, his mother and a mirage of people in his life. He wasn't burdened with death, thank god, but it had left its mark. He had inherited his healthy food love from his mother, and his mistrust of medicine from his father.

He had just sat there, and watched the strongest man he knew, crumble because of the inability to save Ellen Danes. And now he was sitting in probably the most uncomfortable plastic chair, training not to think about what was happening in one of the rooms of the hospital. Where his daughter lay, sick, injured, alone? He didn't know.

He also thought about what a horrible 24-hour period it really was. Could it only be a full day to have so many changes in his life? He had not been expecting the news when he answered his answering machine. A part of him wished it was another calls from Lorelai, heart broken, and at a loss how to live without each other, like she had done the last time they had been separated.

He glanced at the door every few seconds, hoping to see her run up to him and support him, but there was a chance that she would think again to what he had asked her to do. It was unfair and he knew it. But his daughter, his own flesh and blood, was somewhere bleeding, hurt, scared and Anna was nowhere to be found.

He didn't notice that time had gone by, he just kept picturing Lorelai running through the doors and hugging him and making everything all right. He had been there when the great Richard Gilmore was taken down by an 'episode'. Or that is what Emily had called it at the time. He had seen how devastated everyone was, and he felt that April should be given that same consideration.

But as each minute that flew by, he began to doubt whether or not Lorelei was going to come, or if she had even heard the desperation in his voice when he had called her. In fact he didn't really know why he called her. It wasn't like she was very involved in April's life, and he had wanted it that way. But there was something about her that made Luke feel like everything would come out well in the end. No matter the circumstances.

But only three hours after his call, a crazy haired brunette ran towards him, with concern and a little bit of uncertainty boldly apparent on her face. 'Hey.' Lorelei said simply and took his hand instantly, without hesitation. 'It's going to be ok.' Luke said as she tightened her grip on his hand.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

'Can I ask what happened? Where's Anna?' Lorelai asked, and it was only then, he could hear how hard this was for her. 'I don't know. I got a call from the hospital telling me my daughter was in PICU, and that I should come down. They think she was run over, and has massive internal injuries. And I couldn't think of anyone else to call.' Luke said and he could feel the wall he had erected the minute he walked into the hospital falter.

'Oh Luke.' She whispered and leaned into him and brushed his cheek with a simple kiss, and Luke had to stop himself from holding onto her to make it that her lips would always touch him. But it was an inappropriate thing to do, and he was in a hospital waiting to hear how his daughter was.

'Have you heard anything?' Lorelai asked after a five-minute break in silence. He shook his head. 'No she is in surgery, they said something about her spleen being pierced or something, and that she had a lot of internal bleeding, and they didn't know for sure, and would tell me more after the surgery.' Luke said and Lorelei nodded.

She looked around and saw that there was a sign indicating that it was ok for her to use her cell phone. She dialed a few number deftly and waited for the person to answer. 'Hey kid, can you get a hold of Paris, and ask her to come meet me at the Woodbridge Memorial?' She said and Luke looked at her shocked.

'Yeah, it's April, and neither of us speak doctor.' Lorelei looked over at Luke encouragingly and then smiled at whatever her daughter said. 'I will babe, I am sure he would appreciate that. Love you too kid.' Lorelai hung up the phone. 'Paris will make things much clearer for us, she is pre med, so she understands most of the stuff they talk about. And I will call my mother in the morning, and get her to enact her Queen mojo and get April the best room at the hospital.'

Luke was more than grateful but all he could do was grab Lorelai's hand for comfort and safety, and hope that his daughter would be ok.

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It had been almost ten hours after the doctor had first told him about the need for surgery, before Luke saw him again. Before the doctor looked untouchable, and superhero like, but now he looked worn out and sad. And Luke knew that there was something terribly wrong.

'Mr. Danes, Is this your wife?' the doctor asked, and before he could say anything Lorelai shook her head. 'No, I'm just the fiancée, now doctor tell us about April?'

The doctor sighed and took off his stethoscope and held it as he tried to explain what had happened in that surgery room. 'April has extensive wounds, some we were able to repair, but her gallbladder had been perforated and there was too much damage to save the organ, there is extensive damage to her liver, kidneys and lower intestines. Luckily we were able to save them, but we have to watch and see how everything heals, before we know for sure. I have to be honest with you Mr. Danes, it was touch and go for the whole surgery. But your daughter is certainly strong.'

Luke sighed. Paris began to ask a bunch of questions, and scare the surgeon a little bit, but he knew it was all to find out more information. In his shock at the good news he had grabbed hold off Lorelai and hugged her tightly, and she had let him.

Emily Gilmore, had intimidated the staff of the hospital, and made sure April Nardini Danes had the best room with a view in the Peds floor and everyone just waited for news about the little girl.

Rory came sometime after her morning class, and she went immediately to Luke and hugged him. 'Is there anything I can do?' She asked him and he shook his head no. He was amazed that even after his many mistakes, he still had his Gilmore girls wanting to help him. 'I'm sorry Luke, how about I go get you a change of clothes, I could go get some stuff for April, you know to make her feel more comfortable.' Rory had offered and Luke had felt like he should probably do that himself, but he didn't want to leave just in case.

There was still no sign of Anna, and even the police came to get a statement from Luke, and to check that he wasn't responsible. Lorelai had jumped into to defend him, when he was forced to confess to a perfect stranger, that he had slept with Anna the night before. That had surprised him.

Jess came mid afternoon, after April had been moved out of recovery and was still unconscious in her hospital room. He had gone to see Luke first, hugging him. Jess wasn't a hugger. He wasn't a free with the feelings kind of guy; no Danes man was, but Jess even more so. 'I'm sorry Uncle Luke; you want me to call Liz? Anyone in the family?' Jess asked and then told him that he was sure, that if April had any Danes blood in her that she would get through this.

Had it only been the day before, when he had questioned if he had anyone. The People of Stars Hallow all came by, to offer their well wishes and to make sure their Diner owner was doing fine. What amazed him the most out of all of this generosity was that, never for a second, did Lorelai leave his side.

She had gone int to check on April, when Luke himself couldn't do it. His daughter that he had known for such a short time was pale and drawn and invaded with plastic tubes and machines that were helping her live. He couldn't see that. He just couldn't.

'She is doing her best Luke.' Lorelai had said and held his hand tighter when he had expressed his fears to her. 'I lost you Lorelei, by my own actions, an to lose her too, I just..' Luke had said and she smiled. 'You won't lose either of us Luke.

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Luke finally left the hospital after the urging of his sister and nephew and of course after Lorelai threatened bodily harm. He walked slowly into the apartment, and immediately headed towards the shower. He kept hearing Anna's voice as he explained what he had done, and now he was convinced that his actions caused all of this. He was the reason his daughter was in the hospital, and her mother was missing.

The Police suspected Anna as the person who had run over his daughter, but he didn't quite believe that. Sure Anna had been upset about his revelation, but never could he imagine that Anna would harm April in any manner.

He collapsed onto his bed and fell into a dreamless deep sleep, while Chaos nipped at his heels.

TBC

Hey guys, I am going to update I think in three parts. I wanted to give you a long part (and ok, 6 pages on word isn't that long, but it's three 6 page parts. That's 18 pages of the story. That's pretty good isn't it? Hope you guys are liking this so far.

I leave for England on Wednesday, BUT I found a small internet café that I can hook up my powerbook to the internet, which means I won't have to email it to myself, and then find a computer in London (and for cheap) that has a printer so I can proof read and then retype the corrections and then post it. See that's how much trouble I go for you guys.

Happy upcoming Canada Day (woot woot) and Independence Day (wowzah)

PEACE

p.s sorry about how long it is taking. My sister steals my computer to play Sims 2 on it, and so I have to bribe her with Veronica Mars marathons just to let me have five minutes to check my msn occasionally. Geez.


	8. Sea Of Doubts

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Sea of Doubts

Lorelei really didn't know what she was doing as she drove to the Woodbridge hospital. He had cheated, betrayed her, and worst of all, he didn't seem so grief stricken when she had confronted him earlier. But how could she leave him alone after he had almost begged her on the phone earlier.

She had gotten dressed immediately but she just couldn't leave her room. Or her daughter's guest room, to be more accurate. She had been able to fall asleep only minutes before her cell phone started ringing at three in the morning. She had cried pretty much since she had left the house after the confrontation.

But she had memorized all of Luke's tones, ones filled with anger, or disgust, and one that was filled with happiness, joy and excitement. Tones of lust and want and desire, and tones of not being interested. She knew the exact pitch of when he told the truth, and when she had heard his so called explanation, she knew it was a lie. Not because she had been almost 100 percent sure that he had not just slept on Anna's couch, but because it was a tone she had never heard before. Filled with fear and anxiety.

But none of that mattered anymore; she was supposed to be on her way, to be there for Luke. He had been there so many times, that it didn't matter what he had done in the last 24 hours, she would be there.

But her brain and heart were both screaming at her to do different things. She knew that she had to be there for Luke, and her heat agreed with her. Even though it was broken and battered, she knew she had to be there. But her brain kept telling her that he had been the one to betray her, to make a mockery of what they had, and why should she go and hold his hand.

The mother in her knew why she was though. She knew that when your child is sick and scared, it's all well and good to be alone and independent and to handle it by your self, but she had never encountered a time in her mothering career, when she had said 'gee I am glad I was alone in that scary time.'

So it may have taken a lot of time and effort, she made it to the hospital in one piece, without much evidence of how heartbroken she truly was. She managed to put her own troubles into the back of her mind and concentrated on the poor little girl in surgery.

The troops rallied as they say and soon half of Stars Hallow had managed to walk through the halls of Woodbridge Memorial. Everyone knew who Luke was, and they had no idea what he had done hours before. And Lorelai wasn't going to tell them.

Soon, Luke had almost spent 18 hours straight waiting to hear if his daughter was ok, and she felt he needed to go home. She sent him off to sleep and she waited with her daughter, and her daughters somewhat ex to wait for news about April. No one knew where Anna was, and the police suspected her, and to Lorelai, that was something unimaginable. How could any mother hurt their child intentionally? Lorelei's rational side knew it happened every day. Child abuse in every form happened in every single place in the world, and as ugly and horrible as it was, it was a fact. But that didn't mean that she had to accept that is happened.

Lorelai finally left the hospital after the urgings of doctors and her mother. She was amazed that Emily had taken such a compassionate route with this one. Normally she could imagine such lectures to include on how dare Luke just leave, or imagine the type of woman Luke associated with, but the only thing Emily Gilmore ranted about, was how horrible some of the facilities were.

So instead she graciously bowed out and drove to the Diner, to make sure things were ok. She knew that Luke had the mind to call Cesar to open, but still she felt like it was her duty to make sure it was ok.

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Luke was woken up by the door of his apartment being shut. He lifted his head blurrily, and he saw Lorelai hesitate at the door and he sighed. For the first time, he was reminded that he was responsible for this. 'Hey.' Luke managed to say, his voice gruff from sleep. Lorelai hesitated at first, but then she came to sit on the couch. Not trying to think of what she had done with Luke on said couch. 'Hey.' Lorelai said back rather sullenly, but under the circumstances, it was amazing she was even there. 'Lorelai I..' Luke began but she just gave him a look and he shut up. She didn't want to her anything about their troubles. It was about April and finding Anna.

'Is there any news on April?' Luke asked hopefully, and they both knew there wouldn't be. 'No, she's still unconscious. And no signs of Anna anywhere.' Lorelai looked at Luke to try to find any hint of worry from Luke, that wasn't just about the mother of his child, but she found none. Or she just didn't see it.

'I don't know how she could have done this.' Luke said and wiped the back of his neck with his hand. 'Look Luke, we don't know anything until we hear her side of the story, if she has one. You shower, and I will get some coffee and things for the people waiting for us at the hospital.' Luke hesitated and reached out and touched her hand. There was a spark, and he hoped it showed her that they were still. Whatever they were.

But Lorelai flinched and gave Luke a look, to display her need for personal space. 'Ok.' Luke says finally, dejected and hurt, and Lorelai leaves the room in a hurry, neither of them noticing the tear running down her cheek.

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Time went by slowly for everyone, and finally after three days, the doctors told Luke that the longer April was out, the less likely for her to wake up. Luke hadn't slept besides that one day that Lorelai sent him home, and he know knew the hospitals routine. Liz and Jess had done shifts, sitting there with Luke, who was mostly silent at this point.

Luke shut his eyes and thought about the short time he knew his daughter, and hoped it wasn't the only time he would ever get. He couldn't understand how Anna had done it, how se could hurt their daughter. There was no sign of Anna. She wasn't in any surrounding hospitals or public places, it was like she disappeared.

And it scared Luke, he didn't know about April's allergies, or what she liked to read. He had just met her, knew so little about her, and now he was responsible for this almost fourteen year old girl. Luke stopped looking to Lorelai for comfort or support, and he missed her. Rory had kindly offered to sit there with him, but he knew she had end of school stuff. Probably with that fancy boyfriend of hers. He still thinks back on what Dean said. How the Gilmore's may think that they are small town, but they are anything but.

He can see Lorelei doing sophisticated things somewhere, without a care in the world, with her daughter. She didn't need to be tired and weak and alone in a small dark hospital room. But he would never wish her anywhere but here, with him.

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Rory Gilmore wasn't comfortable in hospitals. They were always so organized and ordered, that it made her feel like she should be better at it. Organization was something that had come easily for her. When she was a child, never did her report cards mention anything resembling the need to work on her organization skills.

She liked order and that every thing had a place, but she wasn't such a nut, that she couldn't live in a slightly messy world. After all she is a Gilmore Girl after all. She knew that things went together. Junk food and wallowing, extra cheese and pizza, and of course the most important one, Luke and Lorelai.

She knew her mother, and Luke is the perfect match, just enough patience to truly appreciate everything that is Lorelai Victoria Gilmore. Luke knew not to question her mother's choice in movies, or anything else for that matter.

She had never seen her mother so content and happy just to spend time with one person. She didn't need to come up with little games to occupy herself when she was around Luke. He could almost keep up with her, and that was an amazing thing.

As a child of unwed teen parents, she knew that parents didn't necessary belong together. She knew Christopher was all wrong for her mother, and she recognized it when her father had finally made the effort to see her for the first time when she was sixteen. She saw how nervous her mother was, and she noticed how little her father knew about the Lorelai of post pregnancy.

And she knew that Anna and Luke were like that. It disgusted her that someone would keep one parents away from the child. It didn't matter that she had felt Luke wasn't a 'kid' person, Anna had no right. And most of all, she knew that Luke was her mother's, just like her mother belonged to Luke, and this was why Rory felt so disorganized.

She felt like the kid of fighting parents, wanting to be fair and equal but having to side with one parent. She wanted to defend Luke, but logically it just didn't make sense. He had been the one to betray them, been the one to forget how close they had been to becoming a family.

She wanted to push Luke, to slap him, to make him feel even an ounce of the hurt her mother and her were going through, just by his one act. But they couldn't. Luke was going through hell and it wasn't even connected to them. They had no claim on it. It was because of the other woman, and her child, or I guess you could call it their child. Even the words felt bitter on her tongue, and it wasn't about her.

For the last three days she had been there for Luke, going to get stuff for April, getting coffee, making sure he was eating, and being there when her mother would quietly walk to the nearest washroom and cry for a few minutes, and then come back, with almost not evidence of what she had been doing.

So Rory just sat there, thinking of ways how she can organized a chaotic situation. She was powerless, and she wasn't even involved, she was a spectator, begging to be involved.

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Anna was unconscious; she could not remember where she was, or really who she was. She lay in a hospital bed, but she didn't know that. She really had no idea who she was. Everything was dark and she knew that something had happened. She could hear people shuffling about and hear the occasional bleeps of some type of machine, but after all, she was unconscious and she couldn't exactly tell what was happening. She just knew that she had done something, and that it would change her life forever.

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After almost four days, Lorelai had her limit. She had sat with Luke assuring him, making sure he ate and drank and made sure he slept a little, and all the while she tried to do that for herself. Rory had been there, making sure that she took care of herself, but she had been exhausted.

Lorelai sighed as she dried her now red eyes and sighed. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't pretend. Of course she was concerned about April. She was a human being after all, and she was a mother, and she still loved Luke, so of course she was concerned. But had pushed down her heartache for Luke, but she was done.

She sighed, trying to gain the courage and strength to tell Luke that she was leaving, and she didn't know if she could come back.

She walked with purpose and with a spark that had been missing from her life ever since she had found out that her fiancée had lied to her for months. She was tired of comparing her life in before and after shots.

She saw Luke see her, and she hoped that he still knew her, and knew that she was done, so she wouldn't have to utter the words, that could possibly kill her.

'Luke, I…'

TBC

Author's Note: Sorry about lack of updates, Life was crazy before I left, and I wasn't really sure what happened to Anna. The Last part kind of wrote itself, where this part hid from me for days on end. Hope you like it. I will try to update it before I go to Oxford (Sunday)


	9. These Walls

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

'Luke, I' Lorelai started but the doctor ran in and looked pleased. 'Mr. Danes, she's awake.' Suddenly both Luke and Lorelai ran towards the room, Luke of course was hoping that his daughter was ok, and that she remembered what happened and where Anna was. Lorelai was simply focusing on the fact that the little girl that everyone had been waiting for and watching for, was going to be ok.

'April, there's some people waiting for you.' The nurse that had been watching over her since she had been wheeled out of surgery spoke softly to her. Luke ran over and looked at his daughter, who looked little to him.

'Dad?' April's voice was scratchy but she smiled up at her father. 'What happened?' April asked and Luke blanched at telling her he didn't know. Lorelai stepped forward. 'Hey sweet pea, you were in an accident, but you got those strong Danes gene babe, and you'll be ok.'

April looked confused for a moment but then she smiled. 'Hi Lorelai.' April said brightly, and looked around for her mother. 'Where's Mom?' She asked and Luke looked flabbergasted again. But Lorelei stepped in. 'We don't know honey, do you remember how you got hurt?' April looked confused and she shook her head. 'No, can you find her Luke?' April asked and he just nodded dumbly. 'Sure kid, we'll find her for you.' Lorelei said and then April shut her eyes and fell asleep. Oblivious to the turmoil her simply request had caused.

Luke pulled Lorelei out of the room and looked at her like se was the first sign of water in a desert. 'Thanks.' He said and he looked at her. 'I can't believe this, if Anna did it, I couldn't imagine..' Lorelai began but she shook her head.

Luke pulled her into a hug, and she stood there dumbly, trying not to be pulled into something more than her emotions could handle. Inside her heart begged her to find solace in his arms, but her brain just kept replaying his confession that he had slept with someone else. She separated herself harshly from him and stepped back several feet.

'I need to go Luke. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.' She said and her heartbreaking all over again and she ran, leaving Luke looking confused. 'Lorelai' he called but she couldn't hear him.

Lorelai sat in her empty house, picking up Paul Anka from Miss Patty before driving home. She hadn't sat on her couch in what felt like months. Funny, that she felt more at home in a hospital than in her house that she had lived in for so long.

The walls held too many memories for her, happy, sad and long forgotten ones as well. The room upstairs was something that she never wanted to be in again. She should have gone to the apartment with Rory. She would have slept on any couch or any cot, hell her car was looking mighty tempting compared to sleeping in that room.

Instead she slept on Rory's bed, thinking of Luke, and even in her anger and pain, she wished he were ok. She laid her head on the pillowcase she made for Rory. Made of the softest jersey material she could find. She would sleep and then see where she was.

The blacked hair women lay silently in her hospital bed, in a darkened room, with no one around. She was still unconscious, but it wasn't the type where you weren't there. She was aware of her surroundings, she was aware of the beeping monitors, and the shuffling of the nurses and doctors. It was like she was awake, but just couldn't open her eyes.

She knew that something was wrong, and she could almost remember a name. It sounded like a month, but maybe all this time in the dark was driving her mad. She was trying to reach out and get herself to wake up but she was distracted by a man voice yelling 'Lorelai'. It seemed familiar, and she held onto it, hoping it was a clue on how to get her out of this weird state.

Luke tried to explain to April what he knew of the accident by himself. He felt like he was going to burst any moment from the stress and the emotions he was feeling. He was hurt that Lorelai had just ran out of the hospital, but felt like a jackass for doing so. He had been the one to cheat, to ruin the greatest thing to happen, but he would have withstood all the pain in the world, just to make sure Lorelai was ok.

He wished he had held onto her, so she wouldn't be able to walk away again. He wished he wouldn't have felt so hurt by her ultimatum, and he wished he hadn't felt the need to drink. He wished that Stars Hallow had a store that was open after nine thirty and he wished that Anna hadn't let him in.

He wished that he didn't hurt the four women in his lives, and he wished that his daughter wouldn't look at him in that way that told him she trusted him, when in reality she shouldn't.

'Dad, where's mom?' April asked again and it made his thoughts slip away as he stared at his daughter. 'We don't know. I was called because they found you in the street, they think you were ran over.' April's eyes clouded over and she nodded and fell asleep, holding her father's hand.

Rory came to check up on Luke, a few hours after her mother's hurried retreat. She had spoken to her mother, and felt that her mother was being to hard on herself. Her mother had asked to see if Luke was ok. 'He just needs someone, and I am not strong enough to be that person.' Lorelei had said and so Rory sat in the chair and watched Luke try not to break down.

'Where is she?' Luke asked Rory when she had been there for quite a while. Rory looked uncomfortable and shrugged. 'At home I think.' She said and avoided eye contact. April's eyes sprang open and she yelled 'Mom!' Rory instantly stood up and took her hand.

'Hey April, you remember me? I'm Rory.' April looked scared for a second but then she relaxed. 'Hi Rory.' She said and then Rory distracted April by talking about their favorite books.

Lorelai walked into the hospital corridor a mere seven hours after she left. She felt like she was being selfish, and she didn't want to hurt Luke, as much as she wanted to. Luke was pacing the space in front of April's room and when he saw her, he stopped. He looked confused and when he looked at the clock he almost smiled. Maybe she just needed to sleep.

'Your back.' Luke had stated rather matter of factly, and she shrugged. 'April shouldn't be alone. So I am here for her.' She said simply and slipped into the room, leaving a dumbfounded Luke.

April smiled when she saw Lorelai walk in, glad that a familiar face was there. Even if she had met her once or twice, she felt comfortable around her. She reminded her a lot like her mother, with her quirky fashion sense, and blue eyes. She saw why her father loved her so much, and she could tell that something was wrong.

April looked at Lorelei and gauged her reaction to her question. Every time someone mentioned her mother, or she would, a funny look passed on his or her faces. She just wanted the truth. She didn't remember much, bright lights and then something heavy. Something that should have crushed her.

'Lorelei, where is my mom really?' April asked her and Lorelei winced for the barest hint of a second, and then sighed. 'I think you should ask your dad that, but honestly kid, no one knows where she is.' April looked sad for a minute and then she focused on Lorelei again.

'I am glad you're here Lorelai, I think you're a little bit cooler than Dad is.' Lorelai smiles, while trying not to cry in front of this 13 yr old girl. 'Thanks April, I think your cooler than Luke too!'

April tried to ask her dad what happened, but he had mumbled something about insurance and high tailed it out of the room. She had asked her Uncle Danny, but he had run out there pretty much like everyone else she asked. She even asked Rory and she shrugged. 'You got me kid.' She said, mimicking her mother perfectly.

It was strange that there was no one but her Uncle Danny around that she knew before this year. An old babysitter had heard what had happened, and popped by to visit, but she really had nothing to say. Just some well wishes, and some mumbled collection of pitied concessions.

Finally she started to get frustrated. She was getting worried, no one knew what had really happened to her, and she kept on being asked if she remembered anything, was her mother there? She didn't know why they kept on asking these questions, while never answering any of hers, and she was in a lot of pain.

She felt like crying, but crying was for babies. Her mother taught her to be strong, and resilient. She was told stories of feminists who stood the test of adversity. Her mother taught her that nothing was too big to be in her way. If there was a wall, climb it or tear it down, Anna had told her when she was small. And now she was getting tired of people avoiding her questions

Finally she got Lorelai, and she begged her to tell her anything. 'Kid I don't know.. Your father doesn't want you to know.. They don't know anything for sure.' Lorelai had stumbled. 'If Rory was in the hospital bed, and asked questions, would you tell her?' April had asked and Lorelei just looked uncomfortable.

'It's not a pretty thing they think April, and your not my kid, it's not my call.' Lorelei had said, and she saw how sad April looked. 'Why don't I talk to your dad about it?' She offered and April smiled. 'Thanks Lorelai' said and Lorelai got up to go talk to Luke.

'Lorelai, I want you to marry my dad. You make him less frantic.' April had said and Lorelei smiled at her, not letting April know how much havoc her simple request had caused the adult.

Lorelai sat down next to Luke and Luke immediately grabbed her hand in comfort. 'She really wants to know Luke, and I think it should be you, or hell even me. But it's hurting her not knowing.' Lorelai said to Luke and he nodded. 'I just need to find the right words.' He said and just then a woman was rolled past them, that looked just like Anna. Lorelei looked at Luke and he shook his head. 'No, that couldn't be her, could it?'

TBC

Hope you guys like it. You can thank my horrible immune system for this new chapter. I got a) food poisoning or b) the stomach flu. I am stuck in the flat here, watching British television and yearning for a brief glimpse of Gilmore Girls. Thank god I brought season 5. I hope you like this.

p.s I am trying to update Were not going to take this, and maybe Am I Missing, since Dashboard Confessional's album is out in 3 days.

Thanks for all the support!

BYIE


	10. Mercy

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Luke watched the women be pushed down the corridor and he didn't know if he wanted it to be Anna. That would be too convenient. Too soap opera for him. Lorelai sensed his discomfort and walked up silently behind the women on the gurney and there was Anna.

She looked sick and pale and her eyes were closed. 'Anna?' Lorelei whispered and there was no response. 'Luke!' Lorelai yelled and Luke was there in an instant. There she was. The woman, who had caused so much turmoil in his life as of late, was suddenly there. Just like when she had appeared with his child!

The nurse who was checking her vitals looked up to see two very interested people in her patient. A patient with no name or family. 'The doctor just wants more x rays.' She explained kindly and Luke looked down at Anna once more. 'She is the mother of my daughter, do you think you could tell me when the doctor is around.'

Luke and Lorelai sat down quietly and just stared out, with two different strains of thought. Lorelai was now convinced that he didn't need her anymore, and that once Anna woke up, it would be about them. She questioned whether Luke even wanted to be with her anymore. While Luke worried if Anna had actually hurt their daughter.

It was a very long ten hours until they found out what was wrong with Anna. She had substantial cranial damage the doctor said. They didn't know if she was going to wake up, and if she did, they couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't suffer from residual damage from her injuries. Luke had begun to wonder what would happen to April.

Lorelai had sat alone in the waiting room, a place she had become very familiar with in the last week. She knew each knick in the wall, what each chair felt like after hours of just sitting, and what each tile in the room felt underneath her feet. She was tired and exhausted and numb. She had been there with Luke ever since April woke up and hadn't slept in awhile. In fact she didn't even know what day it was, and she decided that since he knew where Anna was, and April was awake, she didn't need to be here again.

So she went to Luke who was staring out of the window that looked out on the courtyard of the hospital. 'Luke?' Lorelai whispered and it brought Luke out of his daydreams. He smiled at her and took her hand and it caused a flip of her stomach. 'I think I am going to go.' She said and he nodded.

'Thanks for everything, you.. You are the best kind..' Luke stumbled and she tried to smile. 'Tell April I said Goodbye.' She said wobbly and he nodded. And then it hit him. It felt like Lorelai was saying goodbye. 'I will see you soon right?' he asked and she shrugged.

'I was thinking about going somewhere with Rory. She wants to go visit Logan in London, maybe I will go and sightsee for awhile, maybe see the queen.' She said and shrugged and Luke suddenly grabbed her arm. Not in a violent gesture but he pulled her to him and he hugged her. 'Don't go.' He whispered in her hair and she almost didn't.

'You have Anna and April, and you don't need me to be anymore. I think we need to stop fooling ourselves.' She said and he nodded. 'I love you.' He said and she shook her head. 'Why does that feel like a weapon?' Lorelai whispered and she glared at Luke.

'I haven't forgotten what you did Luke. You asked me to be here and I was and now I need to go away. To figure out if I can look at you and not feel some semblance of pain. You should give me that.' She said and she separated herself. She didn't listen to his yells for them to talk things through; she didn't wait while he kept calling her name.

She sat in her car with the key in the ignition and she willed her body to start the car. She wanted to be away from the hospital, and the pain and the uncertainly that seemed to wrap itself around the hospital. But she thought of April, and she just couldn't abandon the kid.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear someone tap her window. She looked up and there was Jess Mariano. Writer extraodnaire, and the current wooer of her daughter.

Jess had been pretty much there for most of the time Luke was there. He sat with April, and read to her when she was unconscious and made her laugh when she was awake. He had changed beyond recognition, and Lorelai suddenly wished that he was dating her daughter.

'You heading out?' Jess asked after she had unzipped her window. 'Just trying to figure out what to do.' She said honestly and he chuckled. 'I do that every time I reach Stars hallows welcome sign.' He quirked a grin, which made her smile a little. 'I can't just act like it didn't happen.' Lorelai told him and not caring whether he had a clue on what she was referring to.

'I would imagine, he thinks it's working.' Jess said and Lorelai opened the door. 'I can't leave without saying something to April.' Lorelai said and Jess nodded. 'I'll walk you.' He said and she smiled at him. He led her the entire way, and she had to smile. She would definitely have to tell Rory about how much he had changed.

No one was in the hallway and she was grateful that she wouldn't be forced to see Luke so soon after her walking away from him. April was awake and reading a science magazine Jess had bought her earlier.

'Hey Kiddo.' Lorelei said, trying to be as cheery as she could. April looked still too small to be in that big hospital bed. April smiled at her and put down the magazine. 'Did you hear that they found my mom?' April asked innocently. April had no idea just how much Anna's reappearance had hurt Lorelei. Even if it wasn't intentional.

'I know kid, I tell ya, hospitals'. She said and April smiled. She saw Lorelai's coat. 'Your not going are you?' April asked and it broke Lorelai's heart. 'Yeah, you have your mom back and I need to go away for a little while.' She tried to explain.

April just looked at the Lorelei and couldn't understand why she was suddenly going somewhere. Lorelai had been there for her since she woke up, and she was the one who listened to her and told her jokes and made her feel better. Lorelai was perfect for her father; to finally make the slightly sad man, smile.

'Why?' April asked simply and it made Lorelai pause. What do you tell a 13 yr old? That her father and her mother slept together, and by doing that obliterated Lorelai' entire life? Or did she say that she just needed time, or some previous engagement.

'I think your dad and your mom and you all need time together, and I have to go help my daughter out.' Lorelai said instead. April nodded but the room was really quiet. Jess was somewhere distracting Luke, and she wished he would come back and ruin this moment.

'Right, your daughter.' April said and suddenly Lorelai wished even for the slightest moment, that April were hers. By looks it wouldn't be so preposterous. April had the wild black/brown hair that both parents seemed to have, and just by chance Lorelai had. The blue eyes were there too, and the quick wit that seemed to be a god given Gilmore trait.

But it didn't matter how much April looked like her, or even began to act like her. She wasn't her daughter, and with Luke's action, she would never ever get to have any claim on her whatsoever.

'April, you need time to heal and it's a great way to bond with your dad. Don't forget to scare him a little, talk about Freddie. Get well Kid.' Lorelai said and she caressed April's cheek. April suddenly had a quick frown on her forehead.

Lorelai was almost out of the door when April spoke next. 'Lorelai, why would my mom want to hurt me?' She asked and that made Lorelei pause. 'I think she hurt me.' April said that made Lorelai forget about her mission to leave before Luke found her.

'What?' Lorelai said and she was instantly by the bed again. 'I remember my mom yelling, and then she was leaving. She was acting crazy and she was dragging me behind. And then I pulled away I think, and I was behind the car and then I don't remember anything else. But I think she, she did this to me.' April's blue eyes began to water, and at that moment, Lorelai realized that April had her father's eyes. Those damn deep blue eyes that called out to her.

'Are you sure?' Lorelai asked, and April was silent for a few minutes, but she nodded. 'Why would she do that?' she asked, and Lorelai gently held the sobbing girl. 'I don't know kid, I have no idea.'

Luke knew the minute Lorelai was back in the hospital. Some men had a sixth sense for danger, Lorelai's was for snow, and for Luke Danes it was for Lorelai. He just knew that she was there, and he had to find him. When Jess was there, he knew that something was fishy.

'Hey Uncle Luke.' Jess had said and he knew that something is going on. Jess just gives Luke a look. 'She is in the hospital somewhere isn't she?' Luke asked and Jess just looked at him. Luke moved to go look for her, Jess put up his hand. 'I promised her that I would let her say goodbye to April without you there.'

Luke is silent. ' Please I just need to say one more thing to her.' He says and he can't believe he had to plead with his nephew to see his fiancée.

Jess moves aside and Luke is off like a shot, and heads directly to his daughter's hospital room. He overheard April's confession and saw Lorelai comfort his daughter, and in that moment, he swore he would fix what he broke. Even if he had to beg, he would have his family back.

TBC

Ok it's short, but I am supposed to be 'awake.' In exactly 9 minutes, and we are leaving oxford and glorious wifi. So i thought hey at least I updated. Do you still like this story? It's JJ insured I swear. Hehe

Have a great upcoming CANUKIAN DAY. WOOT WOOT and have course to my neighbors below (dirty) Happy Indepedence Day.

ADIOS!


	11. Sentimental Journey

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Author's Note: I am dedicating this chapter to Magical Princess. because she likes Rilo Kiley and since my obsessiveness of them keeps me writing this, so this is for you.

Luke backed up and left the doorway before anyone would catch him. He had heard the words coming from his daughters own mouth right? He now could see disjointed versions of events in his head. Anna hurting his child?

He wanted to go to her room and shake her and yell at her and rage at her and make her explain to him why and how it had happened. Why she would do such a thing, and Lorelai had to be there and listen to April's painful confession.

He had no idea what to do. This whole time he had been running on adrenaline. Probably since he watched Lorelai walk away from him when he rejected her idea to elope, he had that feeling. His heart beating almost painfully, the blood flowing too fast, his brain working at hyper drive and his senses going haywire.

He had heard that the side effect for Asthma Inhalers was the painful adrenaline rush that you would get. And he felt like he was using them all the time. He knew that your heart could pump only so much before it would stop. And he was almost at that point.

He had yet to break down. He had been almost stoic when it came to his daughter's accident, and just how serious it had been. The doctors really didn't know how she would be when she woke up, and they pretty much had the same theory about Anna. Only her injuries were much more serious.

The doctor had explained that her ribs were all broken, and had massive internal bleeding and had cranial bleeds. The doctor remarked that her injuries supported the idea that she had been literally crushed.

He had stopped trying to guess what had happened. He didn't want to hear the theories the police had, nor did he want them to continually ask April about it. Now that he had heard the very words he had heard from her mouth, he didn't want to know anything else.

He wanted to make sure that Anna was taken care of, he didn't want her to simply fade into the hospital, and he wanted to make April apart of his life, and that life meant Lorelei too.

He had a lot to do. He needed Lorelei to forgive him. He needed to find a sure fire way to make it that his past mistakes were forgotten. Or at least forgiven.

He saw Lorelai try to sneak out of the hospital room but she stopped. She turned around and saw Luke standing there. He could see, even if they were far from each other that her eyes were filled with tears. He stepped forward and Lorelai all but ran to him. She began to sob while he held her. Trying to soothe her. 'How could she do that to her?' Lorelai whispered. He continued to rub her back. 'I don't know.' He said and he held her while she cried.

He pushed down every need to cry himself, and he simply rubbed her back as she cried. Lorelai separated herself after a few minutes of crying and looked up at Luke.

'What are you going to do now?' Lorelai managed to ask him and Luke tried to think on why he hated that question so much. Hadn't he been beating hi mself up about it since the discovered Anna. 'they think that Anna will be in a permanent coma. ' Luke answered.

But that didn't answer her question. She wanted to know would April be in Stars hallow. What about all of her friends, and her school? Would he even consider her going to Chilton? Or any other pretigious private schools in the area. Would April like Stars hallow? And no matter how she felt, Lorelei wondered, if there was exactly a place for her in his plans?

'I need to wrap my head around..' Luke began and Lorelai nodded. She knew what he meant. He didn't need her anyhmore. So she got up.

'I told April that I am going to go away for awhile, so..' she said and then leaned in to hug him. 'You are a great father Luke, just like I knew you would be.' Lorelai said and she kissed him on the cheek and got up to go, while Luke tried not to call out for her.

Lorelai couldn't manage to leave the hospital, so instead she went and stood in front of the nursery and smiled at the innocent new faces. She found Jess standing there, and for the second time that day, she thought how strange that he was there when she needed saving.

'I never thought you would be here.' Lorelai told Jess and he shrugged. 'Most men doubt they will ever stand here, but they always do.' He remarked and they both chuckled at that thought.

'My daughter tells me that you own a bookstore?' Lorelai mentioned gently. She knew that Jess was very much there in her daughter's life, but Rory was still with Logan.

'Yeah it's in Philly. I part own it with my partners though.' HE said and it sounded to Lorelai that he was downgrading what he had accomplished.

'If I had my own Inn at your age, I would have been over the moon. That's great Jess. You are a great kid.' She said and Jess looked at her funny.

'I know that I was hard on you, hell everyone who ever met you was hard on you, but you had my Rory, and i wanted to make sure that she was ok. I should have realized that you were one of the best.'

Jess didn't say anything to that. 'I love her, I always have. I was an idiot then, and now I think it's too late.' Jess said more to himself than to Lorelai and she chuckled. He was offended that she would laugh at him but she shook her head.

'Logan is convenient, something easy for her. He is just what my parents want, and what she think is good for her. She loves you Jess. If she had mentioned you to me like she had as of late, trust me she loves you. She just doesn't know it yet.'

They are both silent, and Lorelai thinks back when she had been looking at Rory behind a glass window like this. She had her whole strange life ahead of her, and now it felt like it was over. Her prime over, and she suddenly felt very sad.

She felt like she could go now. 'Take care of him please.' She whispered to Jess and he nodded. 'He's an idiot for what he did. We are both idiots.' He said to her and she smiled. It was sweet of him to say it.

'well now it's too late.' She muttered and left without a second glance, and she didn't dare breath until she was on the highway, fara way from the hospital.

Lorelai didn't see Luke or speak to him for four days before she saw him again. Rory had come home from London with a few tears and explained that she broke up with Logan. She had been told by Honor that Logan was having 'some fun' with one of his father's assistants, and after that, she knew it was over.

Rory had been bitter when she had come home, and for the first time, both mother and daughter could wallow together, without some reservation. When watching Kate and Leopold, Rory had thrown a whole bowl of popcorn at the screen screaming 'Liar.'

It was sad that the Gilmore women had been used and abused by men while the Danes men were in turmoil over tragic events.

'Want to hear something odd?' Lorelai had asked Rory as they dug into Al's surprise bag they had picked up earlier. 'Mom, everything out of your mouth is odd.' And they both gave each other a look and smiled. 'Dirty!'

'Jess tried to help me at the hospital. He helped me say goodbye April, without Luke finding me. And he tried to make me feel better after a run in with Luke.'

Both Mother and daughter was silent. 'Logan was supposed to be the one I could depend on. Jess wasn't supposed to be the one I dream about.' Rory confessed to her mother and they both start to feel awkward.

'Let's eat.' Lorelai said trying to rescue her daughter from feeling worse than she already did.

The woman who lay still and unmoving, started to fade. She knew now her name was Anna. She had heard a woman gasp that name, and instinctively she knew that it was her name. She had heard a man, his voice drenched in pain curse her very name and presence, and she heard a woman's voice ask her questions she didn't understand.

Doctor's and researchers alike, always say that postive thinking always heals the body much quicker than negativity. But could a betrayal lead to a woman just to fade.

No longer did she try to scream out, begging someone to hear her, her struggles to break free from the fog had ceased. She simply just floated in the darkness, waiting for her to fade. She knew it was coming. It was instinctual.

She wished she could remember why the name April was so important. Why she felt a deep body numbing ache at the thought of leaving without this April. Instead she tried to forget and soak in the quiet, that had become her atmosphere.

A male voice entered her universe. 'Why would you do that to her Anna? Why would you become some hateful. I hate you. I hate you!' The voice cut through the darkness. Anna felt tired, and worn and guilty, but she didn' tknow why.

'I wish I could say that this is all your fault, but I can say that you are responsible for why she in that bed Anna. I really hope you never wake up, maybe that will help my daughter.'

The door slammed and the incessant beeping began to slow down. She knew that beeping was important, but she just stopped caring. She welcomed the silencing haze that was suddenly overcoming her.

Luke slammed the hospital door and came face to face with a nurse. He had to explain why he had been yelling at a unconscious women, without sounding crazy. The nurse looked at him sympathetically, as Luke told this women, a stranger, all that had gone wrong in his life.

Luke hadn't heard or seen Lorelai in days, and he felt that every minute that she was gone, meant the more time that he would be shut out of her life. He heard that she was seen around the town, so she wasn't in London, she was reachable, and yet he could do nothing.

Anna had simply slipped away during the night, the doctor's had informed him, and he had to explain to April what happened. She had been strangely stoic, and accepted it and had not said another word to him since. He needed Lorelai, but would not call her. His nephew, the one that everyone deemed a lost cause, had given him a talk about letting her go.

Jess had been the one to tell him how raggard Lorelai had looked to him. How defeated she looked, and that was something that Luke never wnted to be accused of. Breaking a woman like Lorelai.

And next night, after having to track down Anna's relatives and trying to explain to them what had happened, and finding Anna's brother, Lorelai just appears. She looks calmer, her hair shiny and back form her face and she even tried to smile at him. She was something that suddenly made Luke just lose it.

He saw her and all he wanted to do was break down and cry, and he managed to wait until she was there. A few tears managed to escape and then the dam broke. He cried for every injustice that he had witnessed in the last week. He cried for the death of his parents, and the pain he had had over the years was finally released.

Lorelai just held him as he cried. How appropriate Lorelai thought, he had held her as she cried, and now she held him. The problem was, with each sob that escaped, it made Lorelai love him more.

'I don't know what iam going to do, Anna is dead, and you are gone.' Luke whispered muffled by Lorelai's hair. Lorelai had used her mothering skills hoping that she could comfort him. 'It will be alright Luke, it will be alright. You have to be there for April.' Lorelai said gently, and it caused him to shake even more.

'I love you Lorelai' Luke cried and she felt her shoulder become wet with his tears. 'I know you do.' Lorelai replied, and all the while, begging herself to be able to tell Luke just how she felt.

TBC

So here is the next part, as it was demanded to be updated, so for all of those who are inpatient like me, here it is.

And if this is a little harlequin for everybody, blame it on London's theatre. I guess the melodramatic diva in me is coming out. Look out fanfiction, here I come.

Hehe.. wow this heatwave is getting to me.

Loves and cuddles!

HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ALL THE US IANS!

The song list that I forgot about before is.. HERE

Chapter 7: Trouble by Coldplay… one of their best songs.. yay!

Chapter 8: Sea of Doubts by Azure Ray. Also a cool and great band. Le sigh.

Chapter 9: These Walls by Teddy Geiger. Good things about him have been said. To be honest, this is a fake chapter name. My sister played the Mama Mia cd over and over and over for three days straight, and there is no song on Mama Mia that matched the chapter.. so I lied. So sue me… or don't, cause I don't like to be sued. It's not fun!

Chapter 10: Mercy by Pilate. This was my theme song for the first month of my miserable semester at school. Pilate is the music of my soul at times.

And this chapter is Sentimental Journey by Sandra Dee. This awesome song was on the greatest compliation I have ever found. You want great depressing song on a collection, go to England.

Well I have blathered on for a long time, it's kinda sad. So … ta ta for now..


	12. Reason To Mourn

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Lorelai stood by Luke throughout all of his arrangements. She had helped him pick out a casket and all the minut details that seemed to plague him. The doctor's were optimistic about April's progress and they thought she might be able to go home very soon.

But the question on everyone's minds was, where exactly was home? To Luke's cramped tinny office, that was more shrine than habitable space? Luke never wanted his daughter to really see that side of him, the melancholy heartbroken side.

Luke fantasized about fixing up the extra room in Lorelai's house and making them a family. A real family, and he knew that it was just as likely as Canada having a soccer team in the World Cup.

He stared at Lorelai as she drank coffee and explained the details of the memorial service she had planned. No one really felt that a funeral would be appropriate, considering the events that lead them to this place. He didn't know where they stood; they hadn't uttered a word about his horrible mistake.

He hoped that her pain would disappear along with Anna. But of course that was a stupid thought. It was naïve and full of what he wanted as opposed to what she needed.

He sat there as she explained to him all of the things that he needed to know for a service that was really for his daughter. April had been silent since she had been told about her mother. And he worried that she would forever lose the spark he had come to know.

Lorelai looked up and she saw Luke staring back at her, and it was the kind of look, that told her more than she ever wanted to know. They didn't speak about what had torn them apart in the first place. Lorelai wished that they could talk about it, so she might escape the minute-by-minute reminders her heart gave her.

She wanted to forgive him, forget about it, and move on with him. She wanted to marry him and love him and kiss him. She wanted to wake up with him, and fall asleep with him. And she wanted April to be part of that as well.

She didn't want to be angry with him, or hurt, and she was tired of being the victim. 'Luke?' she whispered bring him out of his thoughts. 'I love you.' She whispers and Luke is out of the chair in a flash, they are hugging in another second and things seem to feel ok. That's the thing with appearances.

Rory smiled as she saw her mother and Luke embrace and she turned to the person beside her. 'See I told you, it doesn't matter what happens, there it for each other.' But Jess looked at the two of them skeptically. He had seen the how devastated and massacred she looked.

'There is nothing predictable about your mother Rory.' Jess told Rory and he hoped that everything would work out for the two of them.

Time seemed to move on effortlessly, even if everyone else was in turmoil. That's the way things usually were. The town had stood behind Luke and tried to help him in their quirky self. Emily and Richard offered to pay and organize Anna's funeral arrangements, and the nurses offered to look after April.

Everyone seemed to forget that it didn't matter how much help they were, a little girl lost her mother, and that her mother had tried to seriously injure her. Luke and Lorelai were the only ones willing to think about it. April tried to not think about it, and wanted to concentrate on her new school applications.

The day of the ceremony, the small church outside of Woodbridge was full. No one commented on how this tragedy had actually happened. Anna's family surrounded themselves around April all throughout the service. No one knew what to see to her. How do you comfort someone that has lost their mother, but had managed to lose her whole life in the process?

Sure she wasn't dead, she was lucky to be alive. Or so the doctor's had told her and everyone who had come to visit her. She was one of those cases that every doctor wishes he had, rather than the gruesomeness that each MD had come to face each and every day.

But her life as she knew it was gone. No more special dinners with her mother, and a million things that she would never get to experience. She didn't understand why her mother had tried to hurt her, and April chose not to think about it. She looked over at Lorelai who was talking to a relative of hers that she had really never seen before, and she wished even for the smallest hint of a second, that her mother was Lorelai.

Lorelai had come to visit her in the hospital, and she had been the one to make her feel better. She had been the one to hold her when she had cried, and the one who helped her pick out something for the service.

While Luke looked at the two important women in his life, and he felt conflicted. How could he fix all of his problems with Lorelei, and try to help April adjust to all the changes that were bound to happen, but deep down, he felt like ever since Lorelai walked away after he turned her elopement down, that his life was unfixable and permanently broken.

It seemed that Luke was elected to talk at Anna's service. There was no body; her family felt that it wasn't a good idea with what had happened. There was a picture of Anna when she was younger, and she looked so alive. April had told her father that she didn't know if she could say anything, and it was up to Luke to paint the picture that her family felt she deserved.

He couldn't blame them for wanting to paint a picture that Anna was a brave and great person, and she was, but she made mistakes. He didn't know how to keep the bitterness out of his voice. How not to express his pain, his almost betrayal in his voice. He couldn't forget how he yelled at her. A poor injured woman in her hospital room, fighting for her life, and he just yelled at her.

Instead he spoke of her wit, of her love of being a mother. He could talk about April for hours. He looked at the crowd, and he saw a lot of residents of his quirky little town, and some from when he knew her before. He tried to speak eloquently, but who was he kidding? He wasn't the orator of Stars Hallow.

Afterwards, the reception was nice, full of delicious canapés that Sookie had done. Thanks for Lorelei of course. When he looked over to where she was sitting. Everything in him begged to go over there and ask her to help him. She would too, which is why he was pretty positive that he wouldn't do it.

He had been unfair to her. She had gone beyond the call of duty; she had managed to calm down April after one of her hysterical fits before the numbness had managed to capture her. She had even planned this memorial and never once voiced her opinions.

Slowly people trickled out of the funeral home, and finally it was just Luke, April, Jess and Rory and Lorelai. April was talking to Rory and Jess and Luke was content to watch them. Even if it was silly or unrealistic, he liked to think that his children were talking to each other. He had a hand in raising all three of them.

Lorelai sat beside him and took his hand. 'Your eulogy was beautiful.' She said to Luke and they were silent. 'Thank you for doing this.' Luke told Lorelai and they were both silent.

'You know even if you said you could handle it, I would still want to help you with this.' Lorelai whispered to Luke, and she grabbed his hand.

Hope began to flare in his heart, and suddenly, the future wasn't looking so bleak.

Jess looked over at that moment, and he stopped. He had thought things for his Uncle and his girlfriend's mother was over, but there they were, and that spark they have perfected over the years was back. And perhaps even stronger.

TBC

Ok that sucked. Massively horribly sucked. And I hate it when the author bashes their own work, cause why would anyone want to read something, the writer hated? But I think this was the worst, hardest chapter to write. I've been writing it on and off, for weeks, and it's still not right. Which is why it's so short.

GROWL

Darn you muse. Where the hell are you?


	13. Try

Please Don't Tell Her

Summary: What if, instead of Lorelai seeking comfort from Chris, Luke is the one who goes to find comfort, and then tries to make it right.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my pretty new computer, and that isn't fully paid for yet, so in fact I own nothing.

Rating: Teen.

Authors Note: Well it's so far from late that it's not even funny. But this chapter went a long better than the last. Thanks Chuzzle for that. Hope you guys like it. Next part is probably the end, but we shall see how my muse is behaving, or into the dungeon she goes.

Life seemed to move on, just like it always does, and soon the pain of what happened seemed to fade just like the hours in a day. April had come to live with Luke, and he had been looking for a house or something.

Lorelai hadn't forgiven Luke, but she had to make a decision on whether she wanted to live her life without him. She was prepared to make him realize how much pain she was in and that it just didn't go away because of Anna's accident, but she couldn't imagine her life without him.

She really tried, but all she saw was endless darkness. It sounds melodramatic but it was the truth. She didn't remember her life without him. Or if she did, that was when everything was laughable.

Luke had managed to wiggle his way in her life so much that she didn't know where he stopped and she began. And so it was time. She was tired of avoiding things, and waiting for him to make a move. He let eight years slip by before he said anything to her about his feelings.

Jess and Rory all the while made an effort to be the most functioning of who was involved. Jess spent most of his time traveling between Philadelphia and New Haven. Rory had no idea how she got to the point where the most reliable person in her life at the moment was Jess. He had been there instantly after getting the call about the accident, and he had been the one that had been there for everybody, and of course he was there for Rory.

Everyone knew their tragedies and their greatest moments. Most of the town had been around them, while they happened. Nothing was a secret in Stars Hallow, and nothing pleased most of the townspeople to see such a troubled man become happy and fulfilled, and help the town princess along the way.

Rory spent most of her free time with Jess and they happened to spend most of their time with Lorelai. Now with the drama had ended and things were supposed to go back to normal, but how could they? Jess sat with his girlfriend and her mother and they all acted normal. Even Paul Anka was in the game.

'See Jess there is something better than Willy Wonka. It's Seven Brides for Seven Brothers!' Lorelai chirped at him and he rolled his eyes. Rory had come up with the idea to distract Lorelai with a stupid movie fest. A full interactive classic musicals.

'I will give you a check for one hundred dollars, if you don't make me watch another movie.' Jess whined and both mother and daughter smiled. 'Nope.' They both exclaimed and continued to eat their tater tot entrée.

Jess continued to sit there by protest but had to smile within himself at the sight of his girlfriend with her mother. Sure they were weird, and quirky, but when they were like that, everything seemed to be ok.

Jess was surprised at how well either Lorelai was acting or feeling. He knew most of the details by now, and if the situation was reversed and it was him, in Lorelai's place, Jess didn't think he could do it. Look at the person in the eye and not do something drastic.

Instead Jess chose to forget about the Days of their weird lives and focus on something that seemed a little more less dramatic. Rory and Jess seemed to get through most of their issues effortlessly, and now it was just fun to be around each other.

They had done the real first date that he had been to stupid to iniate. They had talked about what had happened between them to death, and now there were no regrets to rehash once again.

When Lorelai had gone to bed and Rory had led Jess to bed he had to smile at her. 'We are never going to turn out like them?' Rory had asked him in bed. With her arms tight around him, almost anchoring him to the bed. 'God I hope not.'

They were both silent for a while. 'If you have any chance of a kid popping up, tell me as soon as you can?' Rory asked and Jess chuckled. 'Trust me on this Rory, there is no Aprils out there for me.' Rory shrugged. 'I want an April with you.' She whispered.

Jess smiled in the darkened room and thought on how lucky he was. 'You know sometime we should try to make plans for the future.' Jess said, and when he got no response he almost got worried, but then he heard a small very soft snore coming from his girlfriend and he gave up and closed his eyes.

Upstairs, Lorelai lay on her side staring at the wall, trying not to cry. It wasn't fair that she hadn't been the one to cheat, to betray and yet here she was being punished. She knew that in a perfect world she would hate Luke, burn everything he ever touched and walked away like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale.

Instead she was an emotional mess with a problem. She now had to live a life full of loneliness and Luke free. Something she just couldn't do anymore. From the time she had come back after giving up on him, when Anna was still alive, and April was still healing in the hospital, she knew that something in her just couldn't let go. Rory and Jess alike had told her that she had to decide to be angry and there would be no Luke, or try to forgive and have Luke in her life, and frankly the latter sounded so much better to her than anything else.

She knew they had their problems, and of course the obvious being he cheated. He stepped out on her, he stained what they had into some ugly brown colour and they would never get that original colour back. It was futile and impossible, and frankly she didn't want to even try. She had seen too many breaks ups around her to know that.

In a perfect world, she wished she could just wish away everything that had happened. Wished her impatience away and his stupid obvious mistake away. Or she could just wish away everything that had happened. That Luke never bought that damn self-help book. She would be ignorant at least of his feelings, but deep in her heart she knew that it wouldn't take her hurt away.

She never wanted to be the weak women. She wanted to set a good example for her daughter but all she wanted, her body, heart, soul, mind, everything, wanted to be with Luke again.

But a simple song by the Stones gave her the answer. You can't always get what you want.

Instead she finally fell asleep and rather than let her rest for even a second, her mind and subconscious decided to torture her. She saw scenes of the future she would never have, and the past that caused the foundation of her heartache.

'_Lorelai wake up.' A voice called to her and when she opened up one eye she saw Luke smiling down at her. 'He needs you.' Luke says and Lorelai simply smiles. 'No, Ben needs his daddy, while his mommy sleeps.' She closes her eyes and she feels Luke put their squirming son next to her. 'Your evil.' She yells and looks to see her son gurgling happily at her and she smiles and bends down to pick him up. 'Your lucky you have your dad's looks, or you and me kid, would have problems.' As she says this she smiles at her beautiful son and kisses his cheek. _

Lorelei gasps and wakes up and sees that she is cradling a pillow where her son used to be. It was so real, and she flips on her stomach and squeezes her eyes shut from how hollow she felt. It was just a stupid dream she told herself.

Feeling like she was restless in her own skin, she put on shoes and rushed out of the door, still clad in her sponge bob pajamas. She walked around the block until her heart stopped beating madly. That took about two hours. She then decided to walk until she stopped seeing the dream, and that took another two hours and where she ended up,

She looked up at the building that held her touchstone for years, and now it looked different. Smaller, or perhaps it had changed without her knowing it.

She doesn't know how long she stares at the building and focusing on Luke. He was inside probably asleep with his daughter. A little family that Lorelai wished she was apart of. The sky was beginning to pink-en and she should really try to fall asleep again. Her dream was almost gone and she was bone tired.

She walked home and she slipped unnoticed into the house and shuffled upstairs and eased herself on the mattress. She closed her eyes and soon she was asleep again.

_Lorelai looked around and she had to smile. Luke had shut the diner early that night, and they were going to have a romantic night. It was their fourth anniversary, and usually they didn't really celebrate anniversaries but Luke had decided that this one was important. There were candles, and no mention of code violations or hazards, and Luke was dressed in a suit. One of the suits, that Lorelai had gotten him years before. 'Can I have this dance?' Luke had asked and she smiled up at him and accepted. Her white silk dress was swirling around her legs, and Luke spun her. _

_Things started to darken, and she could hardly see Luke anymore, and that's when she heard her daughter's voice. 'Mom it's time. Don't you think it's time?' _

Rory stood over her mother looking worried as usual, and saw her mother looking even more exhausted than yesterday. The adrenaline that had been pumping in all of their bodies for the last few weeks was totally gone, and it had left some casualties.

Rory was too busy being concerned about her mom, that she didn't notice the look on her mother's face. Lorelai had been visited by her own special spirits just like Ebenezer. Lorelai jumped up and shoved her feet in her slippers that resembled gorilla feet and she ran out of the door, leaving a confused Rory and a bemused Jess.

She concentrated on getting to Luke. She had made her decision. Sometime in the night, she had made the ultimate decision. To forgive or to be tortured by it forever.

She walked right up to Luke who was pouring coffee for Tom, and she pulled him behind the curtain. 'Lorelai.' Luke started but she pulled him upstairs. April was reading a book when her father and Lorelai came crashing into the small room but she smiled and jumped out of the way and scurried as fast as her healing body could scurry.

'I love you.' Lorelai started and Luke looked dumfounded. 'I love you too.' He said after trying to grasp what the hell was going on. 'I can't do it anymore Luke. I'm miserable, your miserable, and April is definitely miserable, can we have our middle again?' She asked him hopefully and he just smiled and kissed her.

Before he could she moved out of the way. 'This doesn't mean your forgiven Luke. I am still hurt and mad at you, we need to talk to a professional or something, but for now I want you in my life.' Luke just nodded dumbly.

'Deal or no deal Luke?' Lorelai said in her best Howie Mandel voice. Even in the most serious of situations, Lorelai was pretty quick with a pop culture reference.

'Alright, whatever you want.' Luke said and he kissed her and the force of it brought them down on the couch. She missed him so much that she didn't care if Taylor sold tickets to their reunion.

She was happy. Finally.

TBC


End file.
